Time to move on

“It’s time to move on, time to get going
What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby, grass is growing
It’s time to move on, it’s time to get going.”

That’s what Tom Petty is singing. It was always one of my travel jams because of those few lines. And it somehow recently resonates strongly with me. So today I would like to just share some of our thoughts about “get going” – about taking that big step of not only moving, but moving to a new place, a new setting (from the city to the countryside), moving into a tinier space and last but certainly not least: building said space by ourselves (with a lot of great help of course).

Sometimes in all the excitement for the interior design and all that I think we forget what it actually all means. And when that reality hits you, it very well happens that you get thrown in a mix of emotional waves. The excitement is still there; but it is paired with panic, doubt, worries and whole lot of other thoughts and feelings that I could not even name or define. But it had led on more than one occasion to me laying on our bedroom floor, staring at the ceiling for a good 30 minutes, wondering what the heck we are thinking and how this will all turn out. Or talk my friends’ and families’ ears off about all the changes and if and how they might affect my life. But in a lot of ways we learn: A clear laid out path is not really how it works here. A lot is in the open, what lies ahead I have indeed no way of knowing; and I sometimes struggle with seeing that as a good thing. In the end a lot in life is in the open. Oh the opportunities… 🙂

And whereas I lay on the bedroom floor, thinking about city vs. country life and how I will do as a “country girl”, Sam’s occasional anxiety or emotional turmoil is more rooted in the building process and its uncertainties. There is that saying “to not see the forest for the trees” and it seems accurate in this building process that is currently still very much in the preparation process. There are so many little things that will make this house an actual standing building in the end and sometimes it is overwhelming to a unprofessional builder (maybe even to the professional ones…?). And the doubt if and how he can deliver on it all (on time, in the way we planed and with staying in our budget), gives Sam his moments of staring at the ceiling for 30 minutes. What helps is to take a step back, see the bigger picture and then tackle the process step by step.

Apart from all the uncertainties that this “moving on process” just naturally brings, I in those moments also realize that moving on always comes with “leaving something”. I am not only letting go of material possessions in our home, I am also giving up that home. That safe island that I love and always felt rooted in. That hosted many happy events and guests throughout the years and was always a joy coming back to after a journey. A trusted space that I know in a trusted environment, surrounded by trusted loved ones. There are a lot of little things, little routines and rituals one develops over time. I actually think those are the things that really make a home your home. When you know the exact time, the sun enters your bedroom in the morning and makes this the perfect time to have the Sunday coffee in bed. Or knowing that in summer you have the best view of the evening sky from your attic window at around 9 pm. The floor that cracks in that one spot in the corridor, the drumming sound of the rain on the roof and even the sound of the tram driving over the bridge outside the house.

Yes, I think it is important to admit to one self that – as exciting and joyous that whole transition and moving process is – it is also a Goodbye and those can make you suddenly very nostalgic and occasionally scare you. But I just remind myself of Tom Petty’s lyrics. Because it is a good time to get going. Step by step. And where we go there is plenty of grass growing on which we can lay, stare in the sky and maybe even enjoy those uncertainties and the new opportunities.

As cliché as it sounds: endings of one chapter are always beginnings of a new one and the important things and beloved people of the former chapter will accompany you to the next one – one way or another. Your home is where you are.